For a year ago I couldn't imagine being where I am today, doing what I do today. Christmas is waiting beside my bed. Why don't I get up? Only cigarettes can get me feeling the right.

Been happening:

Begin to listen to rap.

Slight change in clothes.

Knows what fits me and what does not.

Personality.

Lifestyle.

Friends.

Bi-sexuality gone crazy. Maybe I should get a girlfriend.

Change of view in drugs and alcohol.

Going blond.

No nail polish except toes why always are black, long nails. (Fingers.) <_<

Lost weight.

Proud over my height.

Proud over my lips.

Proud over my fingers.

Happy with my body.

Love.

Hahah, alright alright, I made this to a special person who I wanted to see how my hair has turned out et c. Have fun watching and I hope my old aunt won't see it, *giggle*!

I don't know if I'm making the right choices. The choices of my life. I can get away with no caring, not thinking, go with the flow and end up in a suicide mission. I don't know if it's the guts making me keep going, if it's for someone else or … yeah, maybe I'm just stupid.

Do I have the guts to keep on going, or am I too weak to even try?

… I can't stop now, I can't forget him now.

I didn't get birth to the butterflies in my stomach for no reason.

I don't say "fuck you". I guess it's because if I find someone suitble to say it to, I turn it the way that they don't "deserve my words". I don't think that way, but if someone gets in my way I don't pay attantion to it, I kinda block it. She or he gets a it. If someone hurts me I do the same, I block them away. My brain shuts them off, they're swipped away like a dead animal on a highway.

"I won't cry tonight, because I'm a big girl now."

Spent the week with my brother and at Emma. Damn brother made me go down and lan with him, uhh!

Fucking crap. Shit crap fucking shit crap! :E I'm not feeling good today cherry, not at all. I've been dealing around with my box all day, calling Apple support, doing this doing that, getting my father to drive me just to pick up some random CDs to help me with the Mac. Buuut ... it'll be good. Just so bad I can't find the keys on this damn keyboard, because it's an swedish layout and now I'm so used to my english one. ÅÄÖ**ÖLÖ.

However, tomorrow I might get shot my Josefin in Malmö or so. We'll find a spot. <3>Rebeccas mushroomes, come all orphens. Also, of course I've been going out and in about my eyebrows, now I've decided to actually save them, since they're all grown out and the like. I'm getting a natural-ish look, I can't wait. Mhhm.

I need new shoes, cuz' i liek themh.

Maybe I'm in love, maybe I'm just cared for again.

I have this annoying thing, as soon as somebody is making me feel good, cares about me or makes me feel ... yes, heartwarmed, I fall and get attached. Poly people don't have a easy way of living, do they?! Oh well ... mushroom goodnight and sleeph tight.

But whatever happends with this one, I know there's someone else always all over in my little organ called heart. Because he, will always be so much more.

First place, on a classroom wall
Every turn of a face
Can help to break the
Fall from a domestic disgrace
Every rumor displaced is lost and found

A lack of discipline
One hand to cut the other
So unprofessional
You're not a friend, you're just a lover
Nothing exceptional
This is correctional

Mirror on the wall
rame the picture
Reflect this kiss to wish us all
Goodnight

First day, in a victim's chair
Every surface replaced
Can help to keep you
Fear for a corrective gaze
Every future displayed
Will match your crowd

A loss of innocence
One hand to wash the other
Be a perfectionist
You're nothing if your just another
Something that's serial
This isn't personal

Mirror on the wall
Frame the picture
Reflect this kiss to wish us all
Goodnight

We're all dancing to the same sad song...
And we're not sleeping but it won't take long

Elicit
Confusion
Confessions
Incomplete
Correction
Submissive
Restriction
Instructions will repeat
Direction

Mirror on the wall
Frame the picture
Reflect this kiss to wish us all
Goodnight

So now I'm writing here anyways. I've decided to stay here and have this blog, the cherry actually told me it'd be a good idea after all. I am so hungry ... and I'm in school. The keyboard is fucking with me. ÅÄÖ äöa uauo. Hm. I'm happy these days, things seem to groundly take shape ... it's getting there after all. I have hair plans, shoe plans, photograp plans and loads coming up. Josefin is on her way down here now so yeah things are getting neat and <3